PREVIOUSLY: Jo took on the role of Mother to speak about the challenging day everyone had.
“I shall tell another story; one with a moral to it, like this. I like to think about them afterwards, if they are real, and not too preachy,” said Jo, after a minute’s silence.
Jo then turned to the side, as if in a play, thus taking on once again the persona of her mother. She smiled, and began at once; for Mother had told stories to this little audience for many years, and knew how to please them.
“Once upon a time there were four girls 1, who had enough to eat, and drink, and wear; a good many comforts and pleasures, kind friends and parents, who loved them dearly, and yet they were not contented.” (Here the listeners stole sly looks at one another, and began to sew diligently.)
“These girls were anxious to be good, and made many excellent resolutions, but somehow they did not keep them very well, and were constantly saying, ‘If we only had this,’ or ‘if we could only do that,’ quite forgetting how much they already had, and how many pleasant things they actually could do; so they asked an old woman what spell they could use to make them happy, and she said, ‘When you feel discontented, think over your blessings, and be grateful.’”
(Here Jo looked up quickly, as if about to speak, but changed her mind, feeling that the story was not done yet.)
…disagreeable as it was to help get dinner, it was harder still to have to go begging for it…
“Being sensible girls, they decided to try her advice, and soon were surprised to see how well off they were. One discovered that money couldn’t keep shame and sorrow out of rich people’s houses 2; another that though she was poor, she was a great deal happier with her youth, health, and good spirits, than a certain fretful, feeble old lady, who couldn’t enjoy her comforts; a third, that, disagreeable as it was to help get dinner, it was harder still to have to go begging for it; and the fourth, that even carnelian rings were not so valuable as good behavior.”
“So they agreed to stop complaining, to enjoy the blessings they already possessed, and try to deserve them, lest they should be taken away entirely, instead of increased; and I believe they were never disappointed, or sorry that they took the old woman’s advice.”
“Now, Jo, that is very cunning of you to turn our own stories against us, and give us a sermon instead of a ‘spin,’” cried Skeletor.
“I like that kind of sermon; it’s the sort father used to tell us,” said Beth, thoughtfully, resettling a nearby dolly on its cushion.
“I don’t complain near as much as the others do, and I shall be more careful than ever now, for I’ve had warning from Susie’s downfall,” said Amy, morally.
“We needed that lesson, and we won’t forget it. If we do, we should just say to ourselves as Old Chloe did in Uncle Tom 3,” added Jo 4, who could not for the life of her help getting a morsel of fun out of the little sermon, though she took it to heart as much as any of them.
1 Some fun from here on out: wherever you see ‘girls,’ replace it with ‘little assholes.’
2 This is why the modern method has been to remove shame from rich people’s brains.
3 Per the text: “In Uncle Tom’s Cabin (1852) by Harriet Beecher Stowe, Chloe is the wife of “Uncle” Tom, the slave sold away from his Kentucky home at the beginning of the novel.”
4For my sake and yours I have redacted here an attempt by Jo to…quote…from the book. You can imagine. You won’t get ME cancelled, Josephine!