PREVIOUSLY: Jo told a story about tricking Aunt March into enjoying a good book.
“Did she own she liked it?” asked Skeletor.
“Oh, bless you, not! But she let old Belsham rest; and, when I ran back after my gloves this afternoon, there she was, so hard at the Vicar, that she didn’t hear me laugh as I danced a jig in the hall, because of the good time coming.” 1
“What a pleasant life she might have, if she only chose. I don’t envy her much, in spite of her money, for after all rich people have about as many worries as poor ones, I guess,” added Jo.
“That reminds me,” said Skeletor, “that I’ve got something to tell. It isn’t funny, like Jo’s story, but I thought about it a good deal as I came home. At the Kings 2 to-day I found everybody in a flurry, and one of the children said that her oldest brother had done something dreadful, and papa had sent him away. 3 I heard Mrs. King crying, and Mr. King talking very loud, and Grace and Ellen turned away their faces when they passed me, so I shouldn’t see how red their eyes were. I didn’t ask any questions of course; but I felt so sorry for them, and was rather glad I hadn’t any wild brothers to do wicked things, and disgrace the family.”
I didn’t envy her then, for I felt that millions of carnelian rings wouldn’t have made me happy after that.
“I think being disgraced in school is a great deal tryinger than anything bad boys can do,” said Amy, shaking her head, as if her experience of life had been a deep one. “Susie Perkins came to school to-day with a lovely red carnelian ring; 4 I wanted it dreadfully, and wished I was her with all my might.”
“Well, she drew a picture of Mr. Davis, with a monstrous nose and hump, and the words, ‘Young ladies, my eye is upon you!’ coming out of his mouth in a balloon thing. We were laughing over it, when all of a sudden his eye was on us, and he ordered Susie to bring up her slate. She was parrylized with fright, but she went, and oh, what do you think he did? He took her by the ear, the ear! Just fancy how horrid! And led her to the recitation platform, and made her stand there half an hour, holding that slate so every one could see.”
“Didn’t the girls shout at the picture?” asked Jo, who relished the scrape.
“Laugh! Not a one; they sat still as mice, and Susie cried quarts, I know she did. I didn’t envy her then, for I felt that millions of carnelian rings wouldn’t have made me happy after that. I never, never should have got over such a agonizing mortification,” and Amy went on with her work, in the proud consciousness of virtue, and the successful utterance of two long words in a breath. 5
1 inb4 dancing a jig because of a good time coming when I am hard at the Vicar.
2 I’ll keep reminding you that the Kings are the rich neighbor family Meg (nee Skeletor) nannys for, because I also keep forgetting.
3 I don’t believe we ever get a full answer here re: what the King boy did. The general gist is the corrupting influence of 1800s wealth - gambling, debts, horse kissing, etc.
4 How covetable!
4 We’re what, four chapters in now? I find it very interesting so far to see all the work Alcott does to confirm how annoying Amy is. These early chapters are full of lines like this taking her down a peg. I know this is to get the audience on Jos side for the - spoiler - book burning. But all I can think about is the fact that Amy is still just a kid. You’ve met kids that are annoying, right? Sure, they’re a bad hang, but we generally don’t pass judgement like there’s something wrong with them. But this book is a parable! And here I am, wondering why the story does not perfectly align with my personal 2026 sensibilities. Alas!